Has your marriage been difficult? Are you thinking about “throwing in the towel”? Is giving up and starting over really a solution to a “bad” marriage? Looking for ways on how to save the marriage from divorce? Difficulties and conflicts can drive two people who were once madly in love each in separate directions and often they are left with the questions as to what to do next. Sadly, many people decide to end the relationship, but it doesn’t have to be this way. Here are the top 5 reasons your marriage is worth saving.
The Reason You Got Married
The original reason you married your partner is enough reason to keep your marriage together. Marriages naturally go through difficult times and things may look very bleak now, but this may be a sign that a little reflection may help you.
Why did you get married in the first place? You had good reasons at the time. You had good feelings, a solid connection, and passion. There was a reason you got married.
Even if you “got married for all the wrong reasons”, the reasons were enough at the time for you to make a huge commitment. For example, maybe the marriage was the result of an unplanned pregnancy if so, you married for the sake of the child.
If a child was the reason to form the marriage, then your child or children are reason enough to continue to fight for marriage even if they are grown and have moved on from your home.
The bottom line is you entered a relationship that was vibrant and meaningful at some point and it can be that way again.
Difficulties Are the Norm
Marriage is hard for EVERYONE. All married couples go through “the fire” (tough times) and usually end up in one of two ways: broken apart or stronger together.
As someone who has experienced both (my first marriage failed and my current marriage is 15 years strong), I can tell you the latter option is much better.
A wedding ceremony and eating wedding cake is great but it takes going through some tough times to become really married. It’s those times that will make you appreciate it even more if you can stay true to your commitment.
Real marriage starts when the honeymoon is over, and the conflicts set in. But the good news is that conflicts are the source of growth and learning that many of use desperately need.
It isn’t unusual in marriage to get upset with your partner, step on each other’s toes, and get into arguments but it is in these moments that we grow into the people we need to be.
It is through conflict that we learn important adult skills such as communication, understanding love, learning to give real love, learning how to work in a team, learning how to be respectful and accept others as they are.
Staying committed to a marriage in conflict strengthens the marriage and matures you into an adult. (A side note: I encourage people to work out their conflicts, but no one should endure an abusive relationship. If your conflicts ever become physical, it is important to seek professional help immediately).
The Consequences of Divorce
It is always important to remember that all decisions have consequences. It may seem that divorce is a solution to a problem but often it is an opening to other problems.
The new problems that you may experience from divorce often outweigh the ones you faced during marriage. For example, your marriage may be suffering because you haven’t fully grown in wisdom or understanding but divorce doesn’t solve this problem instead it will be a problem that will follow you to your next relationship.
At some point, the issues that may be hindering your marriage now will need to be addressed if any relationship that you are a part of has a real chance for success.
The old saying if at first you don’t succeed, just try again” doesn’t really apply to marriage. In fact, second marriage fail at higher rate than first marriage. The more a person marries the higher rate of separation and divorce they will face.
If there are children involved, this makes matters even more important. The decision doesn’t just affect you and your partner but there will be unintended consequences for them as well.
The ability for anyone to cope through a divorce is difficult for the couple but it is catastrophic for children. Research has shown that children from divorced homes are more likely to drop out of school, end up in jail or prison, and suffer more physiological and mental issues than children who don’t come from divorced homes.
The bottom line is when you entered your marriage, you made vows. Staying committed to the promises you made usually have for fewer consequences than breaking them.
It Will Get Better
It is sad that so many couples split up during the growth phase of their relationship. Many of these people think that marital difficulties are a sign that something is wrong with the relationship but instead it is usually a sign that the couple needs to grow together.
So here is a secret, couples that work through the tough times find out that the relationship is better on the other side of the conflict.
By working through conflicts, you will find that everything with relationship improves. Communication gets better. Sex gets better. You will be more open to working towards common goals and have tools that will allow you to overcome the anger and anxiety that can exist in a relationship.
Working through conflicts will make your relationship better if you don’t give up on it.
You Will Be A Better Person
The bottom line is by working through conflicts and sticking to your commitments you will be a better person after the process. Anyone can give up and quit.
It takes a person of strength and integrity to fight for something of great value and your marriage is extremely valuable.
My Final Thoughts on Reasons Your Marriage is Worth Saving…
I hope these five reasons have given you pause to rethink the status of your marriage especially if you are considering divorce.
Your marriage is worth saving and if you need more help I encourage you click here and get the help you and your spouse needs. May God bless you!
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